I would estimate that I probably have about two dozen that I consider to be
instrumental in guiding my day-to-day actions. Right up near the top of this
treasured list is a quote that I first heard nearly 30 years ago, one that I
have used a number of times in books and articles. It has been attributed to
Siddhattha Gautama, known more commonly as Buddha (The Enlightened One).
Said Buddha about 2,500 years ago: “All unhappiness is caused by
attachment.”

I thought about this quote most recently when I read The Universe in a
Single Atom ,by the Dalai Lama. It’s a remarkable work, though I do not
recommend it to anyone who likes information to be presented in easily
digestible bites. It’s a difficult read, to say the least.

The Dalai Lama explains that Buddhism sees the major dividing line between
sentience (consciousness) and non-sentience as the interest in the
alleviation of suffering and the quest for happiness. This phenomenon is
tied to the Four Noble Truths that Buddha taught in his initial sermon:

Noble Truth No. 1: There is suffering.
Noble Truth No. 2: Suffering has an origin.
Noble Truth No. 3: The cessation of suffering is possible.
Noble Truth No. 4: There is a path to the cessation of suffering.

I’m no Buddha by a long shot, nevertheless I’d like to share with you my own
take on Buddha’s Four Noble Truths – particularly as they relate to his
observation: “All unhappiness is caused by attachment.” My main objective
here is to act as a catalyst in motivating you to develop your own insights
into these fascinating concepts.

The First Noble Truth – that there is suffering in the world – is axiomatic.
This includes everything from disease and illness to starvation and war.
These are large and obvious issues that I won’t even attempt to address in
this article, mainly because I do not have the space to begin to do justice
to them.

The kind of suffering I’m going to focus on is mental pain. This is the kind
of pain that a person may endure over a perceived injustice, problems with
his children, job termination, or the end of a romantic relationship, to
name but a few.

The Second Noble Truth is also axiomatic – that suffering has an origin.
More simply put, there is always something or someone that is the cause of a
person’s suffering. There is a reason for an injustice, a reason for your
child’s problems, a reason for losing your job, a reason for an end to a
romance.

Cause and effect is easily demonstrated in science, but most
straight-thinking adults have little doubt that all actions have
consequences. Buddha believed that craving is the main culprit when it comes
to suffering. Modern man craves so many pleasures that it seems as though it
is impossible for him to ever be content.

The Third Noble Truth – that it’s possible to put an end to one’s suffering
- is one of the most positive aspects of the Buddhist doctrine. In other
words, you should feel relieved to know that you don’t have to suffer.
Suffering is not mandated by a higher authority!

So, what is the path to the cessation of suffering (the Fourth Noble Truth)?
To the extent that you are successful in analyzing the origin of your
suffering, you have an excellent chance of putting an end to it – or at
least to ease its effects on you.

Enlightenment – the successful search for truth – is the key to eliminating
pain. And the best place to start looking for enlightenment is in the
mirror:

What did I do (or not do)to put myself in a position whereby an injustice
could be inflicted upon me?

What did I do (or not do) to contribute to my child’s problems?

What did I do (or not do) to lose my job?

What did I do (or not do) to contribute to the failure of my romantic
relationship?

No matter what someone else did to you, your focus should always be on what
you did wrong. Remember that great line from the 1994 film classic The
Shawshank Redemption When a new inmate was proclaiming his innocence to the
other prisoners at the “dining” table, Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins)
sarcastically replied, “Oh, didn’t you know? Everyone in here is innocent.”

The point is that if you really want to put an end to your suffering, the
first step is to let go of the notion that you are a victim of
circumstances. As with everything in life, there are exceptions – but not
many.

What I’m suggesting – and what I have believed ever since I first read
Buddha’s words about all unhappiness being caused by attachment – is that
letting go is often the path to the cessation of suffering. I find that the
more detached I am, the more objective I can be. And the more objective I
am, the more enlightened I become.

When people think of attachment, they usually picture material things. And,
indeed, attachment to the material world can cause great suffering. But
there are subtle kinds of attachments that can cause suffering as well, such
as the examples I mentioned above.

Late in his career, my father apparently got “shafted” out of his share of a
business by his partners. My mother was extremely upset by the incident, and
talked about it incessantly for decades. Remaining steadfastly attached to
this unpleasant situation – long after my father died – caused her an
enormous amount of unhappiness and emotional pain.

Likewise, when a player gets cut from a sports team – whether it be in high
school, college, or the pros – it can be the cause of enormous suffering.
Many athletes remain attached to “what could have been” throughout their
lives. As a result, they suffer enormous mental pain that prevents them from
moving on to bigger and better things.

Others suffer from not being able to let go of a single mistake. Again, this
is common in sports, where fans and sportswriters can be cruel.

Baseball aficionados still remember the infamous homerun pitch thrown by
Angels hurler Donnie Moore in the fifth game of the 1986 playoffs against
the Red Sox. The Angels, up three games to one, were just one out away from
going to their first World Series.

Instead, Dave Henderson hit a homerun to keep Boston in the game, and the
Angels went on to lose both the game and the series. In the ensuing years,
fans booed Donnie Moore everywhere he went. In 1989, depressed, he finally
killed himself. Donnie Moore had a history of troubles, but it seems clear
that his attachment to that one moment in sports helped push him over the
edge.

What I’m getting at here is the importance of detachment from outcomes. It’s
one of those things that is easy to say, but extremely difficult to do. Even
the most stoic people cannot completely detach themselves from outcomes 100
percent of the time. But it is possible to drop the burden of concern about
things over which we have no control.

We’re all familiar with the prayer that includes the words: “God, grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” There is no conflict
here with the Fourth Noble Truth (that there is a path to the cessation of
suffering). When you accept the things you cannot change (such as the death
of a loved one or a failed business) – when you let go – only then can there
be an end to your suffering.

This is a critical factor, because only when you put an end to your
suffering are you in a position to move on. The moving on may involve
finances, love, friendship, sports, or myriad other things. But regardless
of what the issue is, you cannot move on to happiness and success so long as
you remain attached to whatever it is that is causing you unhappiness.

It would be wise to think about this all-important principle every day of
your life, especially when you’re upset about something. Time after time, it
has brought me seemingly miraculous results – so there is no reason to
believe that it cannot do the same for you if you make a serious effort to
integrate it into your life.

By Robert Ringer

There are people who walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don’t want you to try
to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you,
caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up
the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied
to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest
that they were not for
us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1
John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not
joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part
in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your
story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to
know when it’s dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the
gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s
not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means
for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don’t
need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never
intended for your life,
then you need to……

Let it go!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ……

Let them go!!

If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth…..

Let them go!!

If someone has angered you ……..

Let it go!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……

Let them go!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction……

Let it go!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents .

Let it go!!

If you have a bad attitude…….

Let it go!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……

Let it go!!

If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in
Him……

Let it go!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…….

Let it go!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help
themselves…….

Let them go!!

If you’re feeling depressed and stressed ……….

Let it go!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself
and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need to……

Let it go!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing
for 2006 !!!

Let it go!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ..

Let it go!!

“The Battle is the Lord’s!”

As I got a little older and tried to gain my independence, I wanted to move away from those “childish” signs of his love. But he wasn’t going to give up.

In high school and no longer able to go home for lunch, I began taking my own. Dad would get up a little early and make it for me. I never knew what to expect. The outside of the lunch box might be covered with his rendering of a mountain scene (it became his trademark) or a heart inscribed with “Dad-n-Angie.” in its center. Inside there would be a napkin with that same heart or an “I love you.” He always had some silly saying to make me smile and let me know that he loved me.

I used to hide my lunch so no one would see the bag or read the napkin, but that didn’t last long. One of my friends saw the napkin one day, grabbed it, and passed it around the lunchroom. To my astonishment, the next day all my friends were waiting to see the napkin. From the way they acted, I think they all wished they had someone who showed them that kind of love. I was so proud to have him as my father. And still it didn’t end. When I left home for college (the last one to leave), I thought the messages would stop.

I missed seeing my dad every day after school and so I called him a lot- I just wanted to hear his voice. We started a ritual during that first year that stayed with us. After I said good-bye he always

said, “Angie?”

“Yes, Dad?” I’d reply.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Dad.”

I began getting letters almost every Friday. The front-desk staff always knew whom the letter was from – the return address said “The Hunk.” Many times the envelopes were addressed in crayon, and along with the enclosed letters were usually drawings of our cat and dog, stick figures of him and Mom, and if I had been home the weekend before, of me racing around town with friends and using the house as a pit stop. The mail was delivered every day right before lunch, so I’d have his letters with me when I went to the cafeteria.

It was during this time that Dad became stricken with cancer. When the letters didn’t come on Friday, I knew that he had been sick and wasn’t able to write. He used to get up at 4: 00a.m. So he could sit in the quiet house and do his letters. If he missed his Friday delivery, the letters would usually come a day or two later. But they always came. My friends used to call him “Coolest Dad in the Universe.” And one day they sent him a card bestowing that title, signed by all of them. I believe he taught all of us about a father’s love. I wouldn’t be surprised if my friends started sending napkins to their children. He left an impression that would stay with them and inspire them to give their own children their expression of their love.

Closer to his end he didn’t recognize who I was and would call me the name of a relative he hadn’t seen in many years. Even though I knew it was due to his illness, it still hurt that he couldn’t remember my name.

I was alone with him in his hospital room a couple of days before he died. We held hands and watched TV. As I was getting ready to leave,

he said, “Angie?”

“Yes, Dad?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Dad.”