I’ve been contemplating a lot recently why I stopped writing. It made me feel better, it helped me express myself, and here I am typing away trying to *think* the way I used to back then … when?
So this is the beginning of a beautiful journey. So much has happened, so much is going to happen and ther eis so much to look forward to :-)
Keep yourself tuned in for many more adventure filled stories …
Hindi Song Title: Soniye - Tu Hi Tu
Hindi Movie/Album Name: AKSAR
Singer(s): KK, SUNIDHI CHAUHAN
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
my sweetheart
Tu hi tu hi meri manzil
you’re my destination
Tu hi chaahat mein hai shaamil
you’re what I desire
Tu hi tu hi meri manzil
Tu hi chaahat mein hai shaamil
Kuch aisa keh do jaan-e-dil
say something like that, my love
Tere bina meri subah nahi jalti
without you the sun doesn’t burn
Tere bina meri shaam nahi dhalti
without you my days don’t pass
Tere bina meri jaan hai pighalti
without you my life melts away
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
You are my love, you are my life
You are the one deep in my heart
You are my love, you are my life
You are the one deep in my heart
Tu hi mere tu hi mere ishq ki itteda hai
You’re what I appeal for in love
Tu hi mere tu hi mere ishq ki inteha hai
you’re the utmost limit, the extreme of my love
Saanson ki jhumbish kehti hai kuch nahi tere siwa hai
every motion/vibration of my breath says there’s nothing without you
Tere bina meri subah nahi jalti
Tere bina meri shaam nahi dhalti
Tere bina meri jaan hai pighalti
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
I got to move on, I, I got to move on
I, I got to move on, I, I got to move on
Doobe doobe jism-o-jaan hai
my body and soul are drowning
Pyaar ki baarishon mein
in the deluge of love
Jee raha hoon jee raha hoon main teri khwaahishon mein
I’m only living in my desire for you
Bhool ke main duniya saari khoya tere nashe mein
I’ve forgotten the world in your intoxication
Tere bina meri subah nahi jalti
Tere bina meri shaam nahi dhalti
Tere bina meri jaan hai pighalti
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
Kehkasha hai tera chehra
your face is my whole world
Yaadon mein hai tera pehra
your memories guard me
Tera mera naata bada gehra
the bond between us is very deep
Tere bina meri subah nahi jalti
Tere bina meri shaam nahi dhalti
Tere bina meri jaan hai pighalti
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
You are my love, you are my life
You will always be deep in my heart
You are my love, you are my life
You will always be deep in my heart
The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you;
It is when you don’t understand yourself.
-Pravs World
I woke up this morning in the middle of a field filled with sunflowers and daisys. The scorching sun felt like heaven on my leaves. I wanted to be a tree and I got it in my dream. All alone in the middle of a field with nobody else to answer to. It’s true trees have other trees surrounding them, in my dream it’s my tree all alone.
Come visit my tree, but I don’t have to talk to you if I don’t want to. Beautiful birds chirping, cool breeze flowing, spiders, butterflies, earthworms all come by to say hi. So many “friends” but still the need and want to be alone and to have privacy?
Loved by so many, many love so much, much I don’t love anymore.
-Chlorophyll
Ever had one of those days where you just feel like running away and hiding? Maybe find a corner where you close your eyes and pretend you’re just part of the furniture and maybe nobody will notice?
Sometimes I wish I was a tree, the only thing I’d have to worry about is getting water and some sort of disease which could potentially eat up my roots. I have to be careful of this sort of thing being human anyway right? At least I won’t have to deal with anyone but my branches and leaves.
Today is one of those days.
-Bonsai
Hindi Song Title: Soniye - Tu Hi Tu
Hindi Movie/Album Name: Aksar
Singer(s): Himesh Reshammiya, Sunidhi Chauhan
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
Tu hi tu hi meri manzil
Tu hi chaahat mein hai shaamil
Tu hi tu hi meri manzil
Tu hi chaahat mein hai shaamil
Kuch aisa keh do jaan-e-dil
Tere bina meri subah nahi jalti
Tere bina meri shaam nahi dhalti
Tere bina meri jaan hai pighalti
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
You are my love, you are my life
You are the one deep in my heart
You are my love, you are my life
You are the one deep in my heart
Tu hi mere tu hi mere ishq ki itteda hai
Tu hi mere tu hi mere ishq ki inteha hai
Saanson ki jhumbish kehti hai kuch nahi tere siwa hai
Tere bina meri subah nahi jalti
Tere bina meri shaam nahi dhalti
Tere bina meri jaan hai pighalti
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
I got to move on, I, I got to move on
I, I got to move on, I, I got to move on
Doobe doobe jism-o-jaan hai
Pyaar ki baarishon mein
Jee raha hoon jee raha hoon main teri khwaahishon mein
Bhool ke main duniya saari khoya tere nashe mein
Tere bina meri subah nahi jalti
Tere bina meri shaam nahi dhalti
Tere bina meri jaan hai pighalti
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
Kehka shah hai tera chehra
Yaadon mein hai tera pehra
Tera mera naata bada gehra
Tere bina meri subah nahi jalti
Tere bina meri shaam nahi dhalti
Tere bina meri jaan hai pighalti
Soniye, soniye, soniye, soniye
You are my love, you are my life
You will always be deep in my heart
You are my love, you are my life
You will always be deep in my heart
Artist: Coldplay
Song: Fix You
When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
COULD IT BE WORSE?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.
What can I say? Life does go on. This is probably one of the toughest decisions I have yet to make. Yes, I am leaving Miami after 10 years of freedom, going crazy, going wild, learning, growing and most important maturing.
I am a caterpillar, now ready to turn. I live for moments like this, or I used to. I forgot for many years how important things like this were to me. How they made me a better person? How they just completely engulfed my life with an emotion I did not know how to control. I was, free. Or am I free now? Have I been freeer in Miami than I was back home? I am so confused.
See what people don’t realize, is what they have, in the present. Why are we always looking, backwards and then sometimes forward for the answer. Especially when the answer is NOW? Nike has a slogan that almost the whole world knows, “Just do it!” I took the plunge.
2 weeks ago, I handed in my resignation. I no longer work full-time in South Florida. I am currently in the process of selling, packing, boxing, moving, donating, and obviously cherishing everything I have. It’s amazing what a guy keeps in his closet after 10 years. I came across a t-shirt I stole from my brother 10 years ago. I came across letter I had not read or remembered. I bumped into a gift given to me by someone so special, so special, I forgot about them. What a shame. Is this what age does to us? See the link?
I look outside my condo and see a great view. Green trees swaying in the wind, water rippling across Biscayne Bay, boats causing a traffic jam at the bridge. I will miss all of this. Will I? I’ve already forgotten that Really Special person, will I really remember This? Torn, I decide to move on. I’ve got a sweet deal, a sweet ride I have had, I have nothng to complain about. I wish this on anyone.
2006, bring it on. I look forward to the rest of it.
-kp
Artist: John Mayer
Song: Your body is a wonderland
We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I’ll have to do
Discover me
Discovering you
One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue
And if you want love
We’ll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break ‘em
This is bound to be awhile
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I’ll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland
Something ’bout the way your hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I’ll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it
You want love?
We’ll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break ‘em
This is bound to be a while
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I’ll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland
Damn baby
You frustrate me
I know you’re mine all mine all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I’ll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland
Da da bop ba ba da da
Ba ba bop ba la la la
Ba ba bop ba ba da da
Ba ba bop ba da da da
Ba ba bop ba ba da da
Ba ba bop ba da da da
Ba ba bop ba ba da da
Ba ba bop ba da da da
I’ve been thinking recently. You know, those random thoughts about nothing. Where is my lunchbox? I mean, it was one of those things growing up as a kid that I was so terribly attached to. In the young days (yes, I used to be shorter than I am now :-)) I used to have a He-Man or Thundercats lunchbox, you know, the kind made of tin with hinges and opened up like a briefcase?
Then as I got older, I started carrying a mini duffle style makeshift lunchbox. I don’t really remember how I transitioned into that lunchbox, but one semester my mom packed my lunch in there and I took it with. My mom :-). Just the thought of her makes me smile. I miss waiting for her to finish packing my lunch so I could leave for school. My friends were always envious of the extravagant lunches I used to take with me. Maybe that’s why i love food so much today. I mean, all I talk about is food, and how good a cook my mom is, and how good this restaurant is and how great the food is in Hong Kong.
Then as I progressed into Community College, I started taking a flask. You know the kind that keep your food nice and warm. The best food you can take in a flask has got to be my moms spaghetti mixed with soy. I can still picture myself in between classes or at lunch breaks with a real fork, not one of those fake plastic things, just chomping away, content. I can taste it now. Maybe I’ll ask my mom to make that for me next week, you know, for old times sake. She used to pack everything, a fork, a napkin neatly folded diagonally, and a frozen bottle of water. Lunch for one.
In college it was easy living on campus. Food at the cafeteria. No problems. Didn’t taste great but who’s complaining.
Now, it’s mainly buying lunch. Oh how I despise buying lunch every single day. I do make myself lunch once in a while, but it’s not the same as mom’s packed lunch. If I do take lunch, it’s usually wrapped in tinfoil and shoved into a ziplock bag.
Where is my Lunchbox?