The Interview with God
A good friend of mine sent this link to me a while back. What questions would YOU ask God if you had the opportunity?
Archive for Thoughts
Quote of the Day
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
- Ellen Goodman
With or Without You
Artist: U2
Song: With or Without You
See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait….without you
With or without you
With or without you
Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you
With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away
My hands are tied
My body bruised, she’s got me with
Nothing to win
And nothing left to lose
With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
Let there be light
I’m alive.
Yep, Hurricane Wilma lingered around the Yucatan, threatened South Florida for days, and then before I could even wink she sliced us. I have no power, thus no place to keep perishable foods, and on top of that, everyone is on edge. Cabin fever!
Hurricane Katrina really opened up my eyes as far as which category hurricane my condo can handle. Katrina was a Category 1 hurricane and my sliding doors were shaking so hard I thought they were about to come loose. I was invited to stay by my friend’s parent’s house in Aventura for the duration of the storm, again. I’ve been going there to take cover from these hurricanes for about a year now and I feel like I am part of their family already! I’m an honorary Jew. ï
Although Aventura isn’t really getting out of harms way from the storm, her parents did install hurricane proof windows, glass so thick even a sledge-hammer can’t break ‘em. They are well prepared with food, water, supplies, everything. I have my own room there, and her parents are just plain amazing people. Kind of reminds me of my family in certain aspects. Family values, togetherness, caring. I can go on. This environment makes me miss my family a lot. I want to go home, NOW.
So, four days later, I still don’t have power at my condo, we don’t have power at the house where I am staying and food and gas are becoming scarce. I drove around for an hour yesterday looking for something to eat and found nothing. It’s really bad over here and I don’t think people understand that it’s going to just get worse if power doesn’t come back on anytime soon.
I went back to my condo to assess the damage to the building and there is crap everywhere. Trees down, light poles, power lines, tennis courts are torn up, nothing outside survived. I took the only working elevator up to the fourteenth floor and before I even stepped out I could smell the damage. Almost every condo on the South side of the building had their windows ripped out and had lots of water and wind damage. The apartment across the hallway from mine had their hallway door ripped out. Yes. I am talking about the door in the hallway 2 feet away from my front door. Scary. Condo survived. Food didn’t. Still no power.
So, I’ve been reading a lot and listening to a lot of music. I finally got a chance to see “The Terminal†and “Million Dollar Babyâ€. Things I’ve been putting off for a very long time, I finally got done, without power. I’m enjoying this power outage. Back to the caveman days, cooking on the grill. Oh yeah, did I mention that when mom was here she cooked for about a month and froze the food? When I went back to the condo, everything in the refrigerator was thrown out, and everything in the freezer was defrosted perfectly. Took it over to the house and we grilled all of the Indian food and made the daal rotis on the side burner. Never thought a grill would come in handy! Now there’s a thought, grilled Indian food. Paneer bhaji, Channa, Gobi bhaji, YUM!
This has been a nice break away from it all. The fast paced internet driven lifestyle I seem to have wrapped myself up in. Let’s hope everyone stays safe and recovers from this blow.
Mother Nature is extremely pissed off.
Keep treading
It’s been so many years since my dad passed away and I still find it tough to believe that we lost him at such an early age. I think it’s because of this that I have such a tough time talking about my experiences with him and have those memories locked inside of me somewhere special. When mom was here last week, I started reminiscing and then realized halfway through my story that talking about this is easier than keeping it locked up. Also, it makes her smile, could there be a better reason to do it than just that?
I’ve started swimming again.
I’ve lived in Florida for about 9 years now and have hardly taken advantage of the sun and fun right in my backyard. Recently I started swimming because running has not only gotten a bit monotonous but also tough on my knees and lower back. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not quitting running, just adding variety to my workout routines.
Jumping in the pool for the first time after so long sparked a memory, a memory which seemed to be hidden so deep down under an undiscovered coral reef. I was at the Aquatic Center in Barbados, must have been about 9. I remember mom and dad had signed up to learn how to swim. They brought me along one day to see if I liked it so I could start as well. How thoughtful my parents were to teach us how to swim. I mean, coming from India, Dubai, wherever … they really went out of their way and knew EXACTLY what to do for their children. I hope I’m as good as a parent as mine were/are to me.
At the end of the class the instructor told everyone to tread water in the deep end of the pool for as long as we could, and that we should at least hit the 5-minute mark. I remember competing against my dad. Although, I’m not sure if he was competing with me or not, I was trying really hard to win. My arms and legs moved faster and faster under water as the time went by, I kept watching my dad to see when he would stop, when he would give up. He didn’t. He was in great shape for a man his age. He never drank, smoked, nothing. An occasional glass of wine maybe but nothing more than that. Eventually my dad gave in at about 6 minutes I think, and I felt like a champ but I kept going. My dad cheered me along and did his typical Sindhi “Wha Wha!” translating into “Look at that, that is awesome! Good job!”. I went on for about another 4 more minutes and then gave up, exhausted. I felt victorious; “I’m better than my dad at this.” I thought.
So today, I dove into the pool after so long and did my laps. I found myself in the deep end of the pool and smiled at the memories this simple space sparked. I started treading water. Treading for life as though I had a point to prove. I couldn’t do it. I’m not 9 anymore I thought. Also, I’m not completely healthy at this moment either. I smiled, my dad was so amazing.
I miss him.
Waiting in Vain
Artist: Bob Marley
Song: Waiting in Vain
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love.
From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, girl,
My heart says follow t’rough.
But I know, now, that I’m way down on your line,
But the waitin’ feel is fine:
So don’t treat me like a puppet on a string,
’cause I know I have to do my thing.
Don’t talk to me as if you think I’m dumb;
I wanna know when you’re gonna come - soon.
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love,
’cause if summer is here,
I’m still waiting there;
Winter is here,
And I’m still waiting there.
—
/guitar solo/
—
Like I said:
It’s been three years since I’m knockin’ on your door,
And I still can knock some more:
Ooh girl, ooh girl, is it feasible?
I wanna know now, for I to knock some more.
Ya see, in life I know there’s lots of grief,
But your love is my relief:
Tears in my eyes burn - tears in my eyes burn
While I’m waiting - while I’m waiting for my turn,
See!
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love, oh!
I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna -
I don’t wanna wait in vain.
I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna -
I don’t wanna wait in vain.
No, I don’t wanna (I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna -
I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna wait in vain) -
No I - no I (I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t
Wanna - I don’t wanna wait in vain) -
No, no-no, i, no, I (I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna -
I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna wait in vain) -
It’s your love that I’m waiting on (I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna -
I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna wait in vain);
It’s me love that you’re running from.
It’s jah love that I’m waiting on (I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna -
I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna wait in vain);
It’s me love that you’re running from.
The Pretend Game
There comes a point in our lives when we start analyzing every move we make. Why we go out, why we keep certain friends, why we work so much, where will I be today, tomorrow, why did I do what I did 9 years ago, and then the infamous WHAT IF I hadn’t done this or that !
Life is certainly full of questions and definitely no guarantees. If there were guarantees then everyone would have a Fairy Tale to tell. My Fairy Tale consists of me finding myself.
Sudden drastic changes in a person’s life force them to make an introspection into their own mind. The results we may not always agree upon however true they may be. We will always live in denial, sticking by our decisions and our actions, and this is how it should be. Should it?
I feel like I’ve lived someone elses life for the past couple of years. I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I like, I don’t know what I don’t like, I don’t know why I do what I for work, I don’t know when I got so bloody lost! All I remember is pretending to be someone I wasn’t by heart. I remember changing my ways to fit the ways of people around me. I tried so hard to fit in, but I really didn’t. I remember having so many friends, but I really didn’t. I remember having such a good time, is that is what a good time is? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had a blast! Some things, very questionable :-)
I made a decision to just be me. One of the smartest things I have ever, ever done. I don’t care that I am a goofy guy who makes mistakes and eats with the wrong fork at the dinner table and then proceeds to make and ass of myself just because it will make people laugh. I wear what makes me comfortable. I listen to music that makes me feel good. I run because it makes me healthier.
I keep learning new things about me, like, I really enjoy enjoy dancing. It is a big part of my life and would be a HUGE sacrifice if I had to let go of it. I like chocolates, shhhhhh don’t tell anyone, especially since I pretend to be such a health nut. I’ve wanted to cut my hair short for years now, but didn’t because I was told that I wouldn’t look good. Just do it. Life’s too short to live it for someone else. They have their own life and been dealt their own cards, they don’t need mine.
Never before have I ever felt so loved by my family, friends and most importantly myself.
–
“You don’t need to lead an interesting life. You need to see the significance in your own life.”
She Will Be Loved
Artist: Maroon 5
Song: She Will Be Loved
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn’t matter anymore
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want
I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
Even Superman has a weakness.
I feel like I’ve been going at a thousand miles per hour for the past five months without an oil change. Sometimes I lose sight of the big picture, errrmmm, what’s the big picture again?!?!?!?!?
What exactly are we doing all of this for? For our kids? Kids, kids? For our parents? To make them proud? I’m so confused!
Three months ago I was happy, content, nothing could break me, I felt like … Superman! Now, I lay here recovering from the exhaustion, stress, and curveballs life has thrown at me within a single inning. How do we balance our lives so that when we’re at work, we work, and when we’re at home, we work? Hold on … Is this really what life has in store for me?
Is it only me that has the pressure of “doing the best that I can”? Is it only me that wants to become SOMEBODY and not just ANYBODY? I am sure I am not alone, but how do they do it? How do they have the balance?
So, last week, I did what I usually do, I closed myself up. I put up those barriers and refilled the moat. I seemed to lose focus on the one person that matters most, me. How selfish is that? Can I really live the rest of my life having to resort to “focusing on myself” now and again?
Selfish or not, it keeps me healthy right now. I’ll continue as long as I can find someone who I can share my pain with.
First Snow
The cable car rocked from left to right
as we moved away from the station.
Whispering squeaks broke the silence with
every gust of wind. Below us, the World.
Water in the rivers trying desperately
to escape, reaching for the misty horizon.
Trees in clusters grasping for the clouds.
Green trees stand by their mothers and fathers.
The blazing sun was cold, my lips chapped,
my face numb, stomach churning.
Wind against my face made me squint,
hold my mothers hand harder.
I look up, and her face reminds me of the
eight years that had passed. Silky gray hair,
smooth wrinkles, still pearly white teeth.
A soft amiable smile, but her eyes held
back tears like a dam at high tide.
I close my eyes . . .
He lay there motionless, helpless. I could
do nothing, nobody could. It was his time,
and he had to go. His spirit filled the room,
and as he left, he whispered “I love you” and
flew away. I kneeled down next to him
and looked at him smile, held his gelid hands.
The cable car jerked as it switched gears.
My eyes, now open like those of an owl,
bear a single tear that feeds the rivers and
tributaries below. Your father loved this place.
Kishorekumar Pardasani
November 2000